NEW 2010 Birthday Card Project

[joyceinva]

Numbat,

I think (for me at least) having smaller messages next year might encourage participation. It was a bit daunting to try to think of something to fit into the proscribed size that wasn't totally lame. Especially considering some of the very talented artist types that hand around here! Very intimidating to use left-brainers out here.

And yes, I know you said it could be something as simple as "happy birthday Rufus, hugs and kisses" but honestly woman. This is Rufus! Surely I need to come up with something better than that.

But now that I have 6 months to stew, er, think about it and I have the reassurance of a smaller size block to fill, I think I can do it next year.

[numbat]

Ok, so this is the cap i used on the front of the card. It's basically the same as the one i posted a couple of months ago in "cap-its" with a few minor amendments. There's a little bit of swearing, but Tom was a 12th century mason after all



T: I don't think i can take it any more Phil. Do you not think you can see your way clear to let Ellen come back? I need her so badly.
P: Listen mate. If you can convince her to come back, then i'm prepared to forgive her for defiling the bishop. I mean, i've been wanting to do that for years. And I understand why you need her to come back, Tom. At least i have Cuthbert to look after me when i fancy one. He does a damn good job i have to say. For a monk.



T: I want you back Ellen. I miss you so. And your sandwiches...
E: You miss my sandwiches?
T: Of course i do. I love you. I love your ham & mustard, and your cheese & pickle. I can't live without them. Um... i mean you. I can't live without you.
E: Tom Builder, I am not coming back to Kingsbridge just so I can make your sandwiches. Is there no other reason that you need me?
T: Um.... no.... not that i can think of right now. It is lunch time after all. Aren't you hungry?
E: No, I'm not hungry. I think maybe you should just go back to Kingsbridge until you can think of something else you need me for.
T: So... does that mean you're not coming back with me?
E: Yes Tom, that's exactly what it means.
T: So you're not going to make my lunch tomorrow then?



Excuse me, excuse me everyone. I was wondering if anyone had any spare sandwiches. No one made me any lunch before i left today and i'm getting a bit peckish now.



No? No one? Well that's just bloody lovely isn't it! Not a single spare sandwich between the lot of you. What a bunch of miserable bastards...



Ok then, so i've decided i'm just going to have to work out how to make my own sandwiches. But i tell you what, this breadmaking lark is a lot harder than it looks...



.... and the flour gets everywhere. Looks like i'm going to have to shampoo my bloody hair again tonight. And i get dry ends when i shampoo too much.



Mmmmmm, somehow i don't think i got the recipe quite right. This isn't much of a sandwich, but i could probably use it in the cathedral somewhere.



T: So lads. You are both my sons, and for that reason i want to give you both some advice. There are certain needs that a working man has and you need to find yourselves a good woman to meet those needs. Preferably one who doesn't live in a bloody cave...
A: Da... I don't really think this is the kind of thing we should be talking about do you? Don't you think this a bit TMI?
T: No Alfred, it's important that you find yourself a good woman who can give you what you need every morning before you go to work. And i'm sure i don't need to spell out what i'm talking about...



T: ... yes, you know what i mean. You need a woman who can fill your lunchbox every day. Make your sandwiches before you leave for work. And when you get yourselves a lunchbox, make sure you get a decent sized one like this. So you can fit those big doorstop sandwiches in. They're my favourite <sighs>. I don't like those pathetic little cucumber things. A working man needs a decent mouthful...
A: Er, Da, can we go now. Me and Jack don't really want to talk about sandwiches... again...



T: So Jonathon... sorry, I mean Brother Jonathon. You don't happen to have a sandwich in your pocket do you?
J: No, sorry Tom. I had one but i dropped it down there.
T: What kind was it?
J: Corned beef & chutney
T: <sighs> Shame... Of course, you could climb down and get it couldn't you?
J: Err... I guess so Tom... but i think William Hamleigh's horse just trod on it.
T: I really, really hate that bastard Hamleigh.

I'll post the end cap in a minute.

[numbat]

This is the cap that i put on the last page of the card (it might not be word for word because i'm trying to remember it now!!!):



So Tania..... how are you at making sandwiches. I quite like those Italian rolls. You know the ones with salami and mortadella and cheese and oven roasted peppers and grilled zucchini and.....

Aurelio. The chances of me making you a sandwich are virtually nil.

Fine... it's ok... i understand. The costumes change but the attitudes stay the same <sighs> When are they going to give me a co-star who doesn't mind making my lunch? That Jolie woman didn't seem to know how to make a sandwich either.......

;D

Oh and Joyce, quite honestly, some people (including me) didn't put much more than that in their message. The only other thing i said was that i hoped he did some theatre next year because i was looking for an excuse to take a trip to the UK. And there were a couple of really beautiful artistic cards, but most were just hand written notes. I had no pictures or drawings or anything artistic on my message, but i did use a lovely piece of craft paper which had pictures of shells and starfish and of course, seahorses on it. For my benefit really. Because, well, you know i just couldn't help myself!!


Still waiting for the stupid thing to be delivered. It arrived in the UK yesterday and has spend all day:
"Received and awaiting clearance for delivery"

What exactly does the postal service not understand about the words Express Delivery??

[rueful]

Brilliant and hilarious!!

[francesca]

Brilliant

[numbat]

Hahaha, now this is funny!

According to the tracking thingo, the card has been delivered (at 9.55am this morning). But the message reads:

"Delivered to MR RIOS"

Now i'm hoping that's code for something, and it doesn't actually mean that it was delivered to Mr Rios. Because i have no idea who Mr Rios is!! I hope it was actually delievered to Manuela!!

[dippyponge]

Great card again Numbat . I bet it took a while to get there because the mail men/women read it. lol ;D

[GreenEyesToo]

Genius, Numbat, absolute genius!

Thanks for posting the caps - the flash on the camera obscured the text in your PM.

[walt]

Thanks for reposting the caps, Numbat - are you a writer by profession? And your layout was perfect - any more decoration would have distracted from the sandwich story!

[numbat]

Quick card update - it has arrived in London (thank goodness) and is safe and sound in Manuela's hands. She'll be hand delivering it to his agent as soon as she is able over the next day or so. Poor thing is under pressure at the moment, and i really appreciate her help in getting it there. Maybe Rufus could call into the restaurant and collect it from her!!

And Walt, thanks for the wonderful compliment, but i'm not a writer by any stretch of the imagination! I just have an overactive mind!!

;D

[GreenEyesToo]

Yay, Mr Rios passed it on - fantastic! LOL!

[ruthie2910]

Right, have the card and my camera (well you never know, wishful thinking and all that ) in hand, will drop off this afternoon and will let you know how I got on later.

[stama]

Fingers crossed Manu!!!

[germanlady]

Best of luck to you and our card...

[judypatooty]

Let's hope that Roof went back to London after his visit to Berlin (and that his agent's office rings him up to let him know he's got a special delivery)!