The Rooftop Entertainment
Presents
Puss in Boots
Played by RUFUS SEWELL
There was once a miller who had three sons, and when he died his estate was divided among them. The eldest took the mill,- Wait a minute, storyteller, you mean I'm the eldest son of a miller?
- Huh, c'est la vie.
...the second the donkey,...- Well, it seems to be a bull. Are you sure you are reading the good tale?
...and the youngest nothing but the cat.- Nothing but a cat?
The poor young fellow was quite comfortless for having received so little.- "My brothers may make a handsome living by joining their shares together; but, for my part, after I have eaten up my cat, and made myself a muff from his skin, I must then die of hunger."
The cat, who had heard this, came out of the cupboard where he had been listening.- No! I'm not going to play the cat!
- Ruuuufus, pleeease…
- No!
So the cat, who had heard this, came out of the cupboard where he had been listening.- "Do not worry, my good master. You have only to give me a bag and have a pair of boots made for me, and you shall see that your portion is not so bad as you imagine it to be."
- So playing a cat means wearing boots with a bag and not with a skirt? Hey, Rooftop girls, maybe you should correct the script a little…
- NOOOO!
He went to a warren in which there were a great number of rabbits. He put some bran and some parsley into his bag, and then waited for some innocent rabbit to feast on the dainties. Soon two young rabbits jumped into his bag and Puss in Boots drew the strings and caught them.- Rufus! You are drawing the wrong string!
- Eh, I don't want to kill rabbits.
- Ugh, pussycat!
- Okay, I lend you my dead rabbit, but I want it back before Friday.
Puss in Boots was very proud of his prey, and hurried with it to the palace and asked to speak to the king. Bowing low, Puss said- "Sire, I have brought for you rabbits from the warren of my noble lord, the Marquis of Carabas (the title Puss gave to his master), which he commanded me to present to your majesty with his compliments."
- You drunken idiot! I'm the English king, not the French one.
- Ah, I can't believe it! Veronica! The English king is in your palace?! You sleep with Henry for the sake of Venice, but Charles? Aww…
Then one day Puss in Boots said to his master, "If you will only follow my advice, your fortune is made. Go to the river and bathe just where I show you."- You're just playing with me, aren't you? You keep teasing me, but I'll never get anything...
- You must have patience.
- What do you mean patience? It is killing me! It is killing me!
But after the small tantrum the Marquis of Carabas did exactly as the cat advised,and while he was bathing, the king passed by, riding in his coach with his daughter, the loveliest princess in the world.Then Puss in Boots began to cry out, "Help! Help! My lord Marquis of Carabas is going to be drowned!" Hearing the cries, the king ordered his attendants to go to the rescue of my lord Marquis of Carabas.- Aha, the king's attendants will rescue me…
- No, Rufus, it would be a mistake. My fantasy is different from the girls's.
While the servants were drawing the young man from the river, Puss in Boots came up to the coach and told his majesty that thieves had run off with his master's clothes, though in reality he himself had hidden them under a stone.- Ha ha, Fabrice was right. The girls have their own kind of fantasy.
After the marquis was dressed, the king was much impressed with him, and asked him to ride in the royal coach; and it was not at all queer that the king's daughter at once fell deeply in love with him.- Hello, new fangirl, how you doing?
Quite overjoyed, Puss in Boots marched before the coach, giving orders to the workmen he met along the way. Presently as the king came by, he saw some mowers working in a meadow, and asked them to whom the meadow belonged.- Am I a mower working in a meadow? Really? Then I learned the wrong part, I thought it was The Seagull.
- It's only one line, Frank: To my lord Marquis of Carabas!
- Okay.
- To my lord Marquis of Baracas!... Do I get the role?
At last Puss in Boots arrived at a stately castle. It belonged to an ogre, the richest ever known, and all the lands through which the king had passed that morning belonged to him. The Ogre received Puss as civilly as an ogre could do and asked him to sit down.- "I have been told, that you have the power to change yourself into all sorts of animals. You can, for example, change yourself into a rat or a mouse?
- You shall see."
and in an instant he became a mouse- Look, Rachel, this is the Ogre. Now you have to eat it.
- Hood!
- Yes, eating it, this is the method.
- Hood!
- Sorry, Rachel, you know very well I'm the scientist and you are the handler. So handle the mouse and eat it!
In the meantime the king's coach approached the Ogre's castle. Puss in Boots hastened out.- "Welcome to the castle of my lord Marquis of Carabas!"
The king was charmed with the good qualities of my lord Marquis of Carabas and after a short courtship the princess became the bride of the marquis and they lived happily ever after.- Is that all, Mamma?
- No. "Puss in Boots was made major-domo and wore the most beautiful clothes, and became so great a personage that he would not even think of looking at a mouse! "
THE END
- What's wrong, Albert?
- I wanted to be in the tale.
PS: I saw Nell's comment in the This one or that one game, she called Marco Puss in Boots, so she was the first. ;D