Desire
Feb 4, 2010 15:00:11 GMT
Post by numbat on Feb 4, 2010 15:00:11 GMT
Because my mind works in bizarre ways, I've been watching Downloading Nancy yet inexplicably found myself writing this tonight. The romantic, flowery view of Jacob & Rachel has never sat comfortably with me - perhaps this is what Albert was missing (i don't think any warnings are required - only one single swear word 
):
“You know life’s not really about love & romance & happy endings don’t you” he said to her, his green eyes boring intensely into her blue ones. “Most people simply have no idea of reality.” They were sitting in a darkened bar, hidden in the back corner away from the laughing crowds. She could feel his despair, his pain, but had no idea what was wrong. They hadn’t worked on a case together for several weeks and she was surprised when she received his call asking her to meet him. “What is life about Jacob?” she murmured softly, not really wanting to hear the answer.
“Desire” he answered throatily, “desire & lust & want” Her breath caught in her throat as she stared back at him. He had spoken those words with such a passion that she’d never seen from him before. This wasn’t her Hood. Her Hood had a twinkle in his eye and an irreverence that she’d silently adored from the first moment she met him. Her Hood exasperated her with his impracticality and amazed her with his ability. This man was dark & desperate.
“How long have you been here Hood?” she asked quietly. “Do you need me to take you home?” He looked at her, his gaze never faltering. “Oh I’ve been here for hours” he finally said, “but I don’t need you to save me, I don’t need you to organise anything or to drive me anywhere. I don’t even need you to make me laugh. I just need you.”
She stared back at him. She knew now was the time for her to escort him out of the bar and drive him home. To make sure he was put safely to bed to sleep off whatever the hell it was he’d been drinking all afternoon, but instead she just stared back at him. His intense gaze had her trapped and exposed and helpless. The magnitude of his words rendered her speechless.
He cupped his hand under his chin and she realised he had a cigarette between his long, elegant fingers. She’d never seen him smoke before, in fact she hated smoking, but when he took a drag and blew the smoke languidly across the table away from her, bringing her focus away from his eyes and to his mouth, she thought it was probably the sexiest thing she’d ever seen in her entire life.
She took the cigarette off him and stubbed it out in the ashtray. “I think I might have a drink now” she whispered.
While he was off at the bar ordering her a large vodka and tonic, she took a few deep breaths. “Come on Rachel” she said to herself crossly, “you know the feelings you’ve had for him cannot be acted upon. It doesn’t matter what he says to you it can never work. Be the adult here and control the situation. Physical attraction is not the basis of a sound relationship.”
As he came back with drinks in hand, he placed them both on the table in front of her and sat down next to her. She noticed that he was drinking mineral water. “I haven’t been drinking Rachel,” he said. “This isn’t about me getting hammered and calling you up in some drunken state for a quick F***.” She gasped, her Hood would never speak like that.
He took her chin in his hand and turned her face to his “Look at me Rachel. You know I want you. You know I’ve wanted you from the first moment I met you. Every day I’ve worked with you has been a struggle between responsibility and desire. And I’ve had enough now.”
“Um……….” she whispered. She was glad she was sitting down because his warm, gentle hand on her face, his intense eyes and startling words had rendered her completely unable to stand.
He put his other hand on her lips. “Ssshhhh”, he whispered “just let me speak. I’ve had plenty of women over the time we’ve been working together. I’m not some desperate widower looking for pity. But life is about lust and want and desire, and you are the one that I’ve lusted after. You are the one I want. You are the one I desire”
He removed his finger from her lips, leant forward and replaced it with his mouth. His lips gently brushed hers and she felt his hot breath feathering her face. “I’m not promising you love & romance & a happy ending” he whispered “but I have to have you.” His kiss became more urgent as his mouth searched hers. His tongue flicked over her lips until it found her response and she tasted the cigarette smoke on him. Almost involuntarily she arched her back, pressing her body into his warm chest. His hands wound through her hair and she felt his passion pulsate through him.
“Rachel”, he growled into her ear, his voice thick with desire. “We had better leave now or I won’t be held responsible for my actions”.
As she stood to leave he grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her to face him. His eyes were dark and intense. “You will come home with me won’t you – we will finish this?” She stared at his amazing face, at the sexiest man she’d ever layed eyes on. After a few moments she finally spoke. “Jacob”, she said, “I don’t care about love & romance & happy endings. I never have. I don’t want you bringing me flowers and whispering sweet nothings in my ear. What I want is your body and your passion and your need.”
“And we had better leave now or I won’t be held responsible for my actions”.
):“You know life’s not really about love & romance & happy endings don’t you” he said to her, his green eyes boring intensely into her blue ones. “Most people simply have no idea of reality.” They were sitting in a darkened bar, hidden in the back corner away from the laughing crowds. She could feel his despair, his pain, but had no idea what was wrong. They hadn’t worked on a case together for several weeks and she was surprised when she received his call asking her to meet him. “What is life about Jacob?” she murmured softly, not really wanting to hear the answer.
“Desire” he answered throatily, “desire & lust & want” Her breath caught in her throat as she stared back at him. He had spoken those words with such a passion that she’d never seen from him before. This wasn’t her Hood. Her Hood had a twinkle in his eye and an irreverence that she’d silently adored from the first moment she met him. Her Hood exasperated her with his impracticality and amazed her with his ability. This man was dark & desperate.
“How long have you been here Hood?” she asked quietly. “Do you need me to take you home?” He looked at her, his gaze never faltering. “Oh I’ve been here for hours” he finally said, “but I don’t need you to save me, I don’t need you to organise anything or to drive me anywhere. I don’t even need you to make me laugh. I just need you.”
She stared back at him. She knew now was the time for her to escort him out of the bar and drive him home. To make sure he was put safely to bed to sleep off whatever the hell it was he’d been drinking all afternoon, but instead she just stared back at him. His intense gaze had her trapped and exposed and helpless. The magnitude of his words rendered her speechless.
He cupped his hand under his chin and she realised he had a cigarette between his long, elegant fingers. She’d never seen him smoke before, in fact she hated smoking, but when he took a drag and blew the smoke languidly across the table away from her, bringing her focus away from his eyes and to his mouth, she thought it was probably the sexiest thing she’d ever seen in her entire life.
She took the cigarette off him and stubbed it out in the ashtray. “I think I might have a drink now” she whispered.
While he was off at the bar ordering her a large vodka and tonic, she took a few deep breaths. “Come on Rachel” she said to herself crossly, “you know the feelings you’ve had for him cannot be acted upon. It doesn’t matter what he says to you it can never work. Be the adult here and control the situation. Physical attraction is not the basis of a sound relationship.”
As he came back with drinks in hand, he placed them both on the table in front of her and sat down next to her. She noticed that he was drinking mineral water. “I haven’t been drinking Rachel,” he said. “This isn’t about me getting hammered and calling you up in some drunken state for a quick F***.” She gasped, her Hood would never speak like that.
He took her chin in his hand and turned her face to his “Look at me Rachel. You know I want you. You know I’ve wanted you from the first moment I met you. Every day I’ve worked with you has been a struggle between responsibility and desire. And I’ve had enough now.”
“Um……….” she whispered. She was glad she was sitting down because his warm, gentle hand on her face, his intense eyes and startling words had rendered her completely unable to stand.
He put his other hand on her lips. “Ssshhhh”, he whispered “just let me speak. I’ve had plenty of women over the time we’ve been working together. I’m not some desperate widower looking for pity. But life is about lust and want and desire, and you are the one that I’ve lusted after. You are the one I want. You are the one I desire”
He removed his finger from her lips, leant forward and replaced it with his mouth. His lips gently brushed hers and she felt his hot breath feathering her face. “I’m not promising you love & romance & a happy ending” he whispered “but I have to have you.” His kiss became more urgent as his mouth searched hers. His tongue flicked over her lips until it found her response and she tasted the cigarette smoke on him. Almost involuntarily she arched her back, pressing her body into his warm chest. His hands wound through her hair and she felt his passion pulsate through him.
“Rachel”, he growled into her ear, his voice thick with desire. “We had better leave now or I won’t be held responsible for my actions”.
As she stood to leave he grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her to face him. His eyes were dark and intense. “You will come home with me won’t you – we will finish this?” She stared at his amazing face, at the sexiest man she’d ever layed eyes on. After a few moments she finally spoke. “Jacob”, she said, “I don’t care about love & romance & happy endings. I never have. I don’t want you bringing me flowers and whispering sweet nothings in my ear. What I want is your body and your passion and your need.”
“And we had better leave now or I won’t be held responsible for my actions”.
