so expressive

[dovescorpio]

The expressiveness of his eyes is what took my heart too. TOTS: telling K about going to school at the local comp. The catch in his voice and the lift in his eyes - in a flash you see the vulnerability and imagine all the nasty teasing and bullying. In the taxi at the end of the 'Well i think that all went rather well' conversation, the way he looks at Kate when she says dont talk to me and he turns his head to her and puts everything in to his look, instead. The hard head says its nonsense, he is just putting it on to win her over. The soft heart, well, lets him. And wants K to turn around and let him, too.

[peach]

TOTS is one of my early faves, for your reason and so many more. In Uncorked there's a scene when he finishes playing the guitar in the garden that just melts my heart, he doesn't even need to utter a single word, it's all there. There's something to be said when an actor can put his vulnerability out there for all the world to see. Not many would take that chance and mess around with the myth of characters past. He is a consumate performer in this aspect. Take him warts and all so to speak. I think that's why we all like him, we tend to look beyond the looks and truly see what's underneath.

[dovescorpio]

Next time I go to the UK I will be picking up the stuff I cannot get here. Cannot wait.

I agree with what you say but think maybe there is something else too. some men have great emotional depth and are in touch with it. others either dont or aren't in touch. if you have not got it or have no awareness of it, you cannot express it. But he has and does.

[anglophile]

some men have great emotional depth and are in touch with it. others either dont or aren't in touch. if you have not got it or have no awareness of it, you cannot express it. But he has and does.

you've nailed it, I think. And women like us just melt when we run in to it. I've often wondered if Rufus cries in real life when things touch him. His laughter is so unrestrained and such a surprise, really - it has so much of the fun-loving little boy in it - and I just wonder if the flip side of that emotional coin is something he displays easily and naturally or if he has given in to the macho-man requirement of keeping it bottled up. It's not that I want him to have any reason to cry at all -- I just wonder if he does. And - if he does - if he can then accept comfort or if he needs to "sort it through' all by himself. so many mysteries with our boy.
(can you just imagine a group of men seriously considering whether Jennifer Anniston prefers a hug or a hearty exhortation to face it all with a "stiff upper lip" when things get her down?) Rufus must guffaw if he ever reads any of this -- especially my stuff.

[peach]

I don't think you can fake what he does or turn emotions on or off when performing. One thing I've always noticed is that he listens, some actors go through the motions, not him its real. If not then he's put on a really good show for us all. I don't think he goes for that macho thing you either have it or you don't, he's got it and then some.

[anglophile]

amen to that, sister!!!

[dovescorpio]

amen.
crying is part, i think, of the willingness to follow the power of emotional truth wherever it takes you even when it feels like what's at risk is everything one has, - security and sanity, even. acting must be a great release, I suspect. (turning up the music and dancing the wild dance for a few hours is also a release. but i believe he said somewhere he is not keen on dancing)

[peach]

What we all wouldn't give to see him dance just a bit, he'd pull that one off perfectly of course. Didn't he do a bit of dancing in Cold Comfort Farm? He was simply fantastic in that.

[dovescorpio]

Jan 2, 2012 3:18:20 GMT peach said:

What we all wouldn't give to see him dance just a bit, he'd pull that one off perfectly of course. Didn't he do a bit of dancing in Cold Comfort Farm? He was simply fantastic in that.

hmmm .... Cold Comfort Farm. vip film for me to see, then, for the dancing. what kind of dancing was it?

[dovescorpio]

Rufus must guffaw if he ever reads any of this -- especially my stuff.

Well we've decided he is kind already so if 'guffaw' means laughing kindly then, may be!!!! (and ha ha right back at ya if you r, R.) ;D

I dont think about it. i've suffered too much paralysis from self consciousness about what makes others laugh (or cry) about me. so i tell myself - dont think about it.

[kissmekate]

Jan 2, 2012 3:18:20 GMT peach said:

What we all wouldn't give to see him dance just a bit, he'd pull that one off perfectly of course. Didn't he do a bit of dancing in Cold Comfort Farm? He was simply fantastic in that.

That was cute, yes! (dovescorpio - it was ballroom dancing, but I don't remember what kind of dance.)

My favourite dancing scene is the one in IASL, though. Very sweet and tender, plus some expressive faces to go with it.

dovescorpio said:

The expressiveness of his eyes is what took my heart too. TOTS: telling K about going to school at the local comp.

That's another very good example. It's just a small fleeting expression, but you can see the suffering little boy very clearly.

[anglophile]

what is so moving to me about TOTS -- over and over again -- is that he just shrugs off soul-deep hurts (like the bullying and his mother's leaving and his father's dying) as though he somehow deserved them but has gotten past it. you know he hasn't though. you know it's all still there and it's what makes him so fearful of heartache if he loses Kate. That's, perversely, why he puts her through so many tests (tossing her bag in the pool, refusing her wedding night satisfaction, showing up in drag at his wedding). He's daring her to follow the patterns of hurt in his life. It's also why he's so joyful and grateful for everything that binds them together -- like the triplets.
Just some amateur analysis on my part. Could be dead wrong. What do you think?

[kissmekate]

That's an interesting thought, anglophile, and I think fits quite well. The only thing I'm not sure about is whether he does it consciously or not. I tend to think the latter. Like Harry says, deep down he's still six years old - and isn't he often behaving like a troubled child or teenager who just wants to be loved under all his defiance and rebellion?

[dovescorpio]

Jan 2, 2012 15:26:47 GMT anglophile said:

He's daring her to follow the patterns of hurt in his life. It's also why he's so joyful and grateful for everything that binds them together -- like the triplets.
Just some amateur analysis on my part. Could be dead wrong. What do you think?

Always up for a bit of 'amateur' (one who loves) analysis myself. And analyising the characters - rather than the man - beyond reproach!
I agree with you. I think it is instinctive, not calculated - but he is daring her to hurt him. The way he responds to the divorce word shows it, the word seems to come right out of the bottom of his belly - where the most primal feelings are based? and go through every tremor of his heart - it really knocks him. (I love the way you see every now and then a flash of her wedding ring and the way she makes it clear she does not disapprove of him cross-dressing just the circumstances of it - little signs that she is not wholly rejecting him even tho she is beside herself with rage)

[anglophile]

whether he does it consciously or not. I tend to think the latter. Like Harry says, deep down he's still six years old - and isn't he often behaving like a troubled child or teenager who just wants to be loved under all his defiance and rebellion?

you're right - i think it's entirely unconscious and he would probably even argue with you that he did it at all. that's one of the things that makes him so appealing as a character (and such a handful as a husband): he is still 6 years old and acting on instinct and primal emotion in so many ways -- all stemming from that fear that he's not lovable at all.
remember when he's talking to harry at the elevator as kate is storming out and he says something about how she's crazy about him or she loves him madly (i'm at work so i can't check the film for the exact wording) but it's so clear he's psyching himself up to believe he might just be lovable by someone like her by blustering through what looks so clearly like final rejection oni her part.
the first time i watched it, i was so fearful at that point that he was just using her for her money and I didn't see the depth of that scene. now i could write books about it.

The way he responds to the divorce word shows it, the word seems to come right out of the bottom of his belly - where the most primal feelings are based? and go through every tremor of his heart - it really knocks him.

doesn't it, though? again, the first time i watched it, i thought it was such an odd, completely overstated reaction from a guy in the 21st century, where relationships are a dime a dozen and people make contact information notes on the cocktail napkin at their wedding reception about a good divorce lawyer. it just seemed 'quaint.'
until you get to know the sweet little lost boy. and then it all makes perfect sense, of course, and you just respond to it yourself with this gut-centered emotion.

i keep wondering how much of this wainwright wrote into the script, how much the director pulled out and how much rufus embellished it with his own understanding of the character. darn, i wish he were here to enlighten us all.

like most of rufus' work, i find something new every time I see TOTS. for a comedy, it has so much tragedy in it. that's what makes it so much fun to work with for fanfiction.