Oh dear…
Encouraged by tipou’s comments and by numbat’s suggestion to watch it only until the kissing scene, tonight I gave it another try to watch Woodlanders.
Thought I would make it, thought I would be brave.
But I was sobbing uncontrollably already by the scene when they pass the apple trees and she says “they’re all just apples to me now”.
The first Kleenex box was emptied already by then.
And I thought to myself, are you really so awfully sentimental??? Come on, THINK!
But I couldn’t and the only thing that distracted me a bit was taking some other two or three hundred stills…
Oh well, maybe a little thinking there still was, because this time I found Giles much less “miserable” then the first few times I watched, not so much the poor, sweet guy you just want to take in your arms and say “hush, poor little boy”.
No, this time I found him such a strong man. So proud. So brave.
When he says (planting the trees) “they need their roots for the years to come, to stand against the storms”.
I think he talked about himself. When he proudly stood against the stupid Lady Charmond with his load of oak and his heavy horses. When he commented the loss of his house with a rather unconcerned question “where shall I live?”
He seemed so lion-hearted to me, when he took off his shelves from his house and she came on horseback to ask where he would live. He simply stared at her and turned away. He seemed so self-reliant.
This time he did not seem week to me at all. Not week and miserable, but strong and very brave. He was so sure of what he felt that he did not really bother what happened to him. He never ever humiliated himself, he never begged her. He just took what she did to him without ever complaining. He gave himself to this love without asking.
And only a really strong, brave man can do that.
Well, that was some of my “thinking” (can you call this THINKING?
).
Let’s call it some instant of clear sight, the rest was all drowned by relentless tears.
I did not even make it until the kissing scene, because the scene in the abbey already killed me. The second Kleenex box emptied and one last clear thought: he smiled when he said “I could lie dying…”
He really smiled at his fate, he smiled at his destiny. A serene, bright smile.
He knew exactly what was coming.
And he took it with a smile.
Can there be a braver man???
OK gals, now you know how I spent my Saturday night. Even now when I try to put these words together, tears are still running down my cheeks and I guess you are damned right when you think about me: this girl is
way too sentimental.
Hope you all are having better times…
Good night *sob*
And yes, tipou, you are right, somehow this is really kind of a "horror movie" in the meaning of emotionally back-breaking.
I think you will find that he is my Giles. 
(but we both know he's mine really)
).
