Twisted Wishes

[quoll]

Thanks to The Wagon for this new game and to Whiz G for her example!

The first poster makes a wish, and the next poster grants it... in as twisted a way possible.

So, you would say, "I wish I had the day off."
To which I would reply: "Poof! You have the day off... because your office building was condemned and your boss has been arrested for securities fraud. You'll probably also have the next few days off, as well...."


I wish my lottery numbers would come up this weekend

[GreenEyesToo]

(A new game, yayyy! Great idea, Quoll! We can never have too many games!)

Alakazam! Your lottery numbers have come up....but your DH ripped up the ticket by mistake, tried to stick it back together, superglued his fingers together, crashed the car on the way to the hospital, knocked down a row of beach-huts, and now you need to win the lottery to pay for the damages as your insurance was out of date...

I wish I could go to NYC for a certain play.

[quoll]

Your wish is granted but the day you get there the whole main cast has been stricken with the gastric flu and the play is performed solely by understudies.

I wish that it would rain

[ree]

It does rain, and rain and rain until you, DH, several roos,
and a quoll or two are sitting on your roof, no not that roof,
remember, DH is there too!!




I wish I wasn't afraid of heights

[quoll]

Granted you are not afraid of heights but you do develop an instant case of agoraphobia instead which means you cant go out and enjoy those heights anyway.

I wish I could lose weight and still eat chocolate

[GreenEyesToo]

You do lose weight, but so much that your chocolate receptors stop working, and even the look of it, let alone the taste, makes you feel sick and so you never want to eat it ever again...

I wish I could be a bit taller

[sevensisters]

Your wish is granted and you're suddenly more than just a bit taller -- you're tall enough to see all the dust that's collected on the tops of cabinets, etc., that has been conveniently hidden for so long!


I wish I could fly on an airplane without fear.

[GreenEyesToo]

Your wish is granted, but you become so confident that you insist on wing-walking on every flight and your new plan is to wing-walk on the next moon-mission.

I wish I was only a few weeks older than Rufus, rather than a few years...

[magicallife]

You are now a mere 40, and a foxy one at that, but you are constantly being hit on by elderly men who call you night and day, and even camp out on your doorstep.

I wish Nate Berkus would redecorate my bedroom at no charge....

[GreenEyesToo]

You get your wish, but the day after it's finished, a meteorite drops on your home while you're out and the only room demolished is...your bedroom!

I wish I could go on a trip around the world.

[catdishy]

You go on the trip of your dreams , but when you get back, the man of your dreams doesn't measure up on your new manmeter anymore, he begins to resent your disdain and leaves for someone younger and hotter than you!Waw!!

I wish I could take 10 pairs of shoes on my trip.

[GreenEyesToo]

You do take 10 pairs, but then you discover that someone broke into your case while you were asleep, stole all the left-foot shoes, and replaced them with bright pink fluffy mules 2 sizes too small. And broke off all the heels on the right-foot shoes.

I wish I could play a musical instrument.

[quoll]

Your wish is granted but you are congenitally unable to tune the darned thing first.

I wish I didnt have to wear glasses all the time

[GreenEyesToo]

Your wish is granted - you have laser surgery, but on the day it's done, you get home to find that there is a ballot to meet Rufus on his yet-to-be-announced trip to Aus, but as it's to promote a new opticians chain, it's only open to specs wearers...

I wish I owned a bigger home.

[catdishy]

You do, but when you get hit with the tax rate tripling , at tax time, your budget is shot and you can't subscribe to highspeed cable anymore.

I wish I wasn't taking this cruise alone (sometimes)