Twisted Wishes

[GreenEyesToo]

Catdishy said;

I wish I had younger boyfriends.

(Plural? !!)

You do get younger ones, but they don't like the same music as you, they don't get your jokes, they use all your skin creams, they hijack your hairdryer, they hog the bathroom, and what's more.....you wear them out too quickly!!

I wish I didn't have an exam tomorrow

[catdishy]

Your exam was cancelled. Instead, you're promoted on to the next level. Unfortunately, you're way out of your depths and fail and lose your whole year.


I wish I could come up with more original ideas on this game.

[GreenEyesToo]

You come up with some wonderfully original ideas....in your dreams, and then can't remember them when you wake up!

I wish I could drive

[catdishy]

You become a superior driver...entering orienteering and then speedcar racing and are a star at all the competitions...for awhile, until the next hottie puts you in number 2 place...you hate it, and give up cars altogether, now able to afford a chauffeur because driving is just tedious.

I wished I were more photogenic.

[GreenEyesToo]

You wake up tomorrow and you are! But then you get followed around by all the paparazzi, sleazy men hit on you all time, pretending to be famous photographers, and your name is in the gossip columns every day and you never get any peace.

I wish I had a spare room.

[catdishy]

You find you have an airy, cosy , spacious room to spare, and so do your friends and their friends and their friends, and finally, their constant visits drive you mad and you are arrested for creating a public disturbance when you chase the last one into the street with your best meat cleaver.

I wish I didn't care about clothes.

[GreenEyesToo]

You decide not to anymore, and take to walking around your neighbourhood stark naked - when anyone comments you say it's part of your protest against the Fashion Police trying to run all our lives, and when the police are called to arrest you they don't accept your claims that you are merely exercising your right to freedom of expression, and lock you in the clink until you come to your senses and agree to put some clothes on again. And it's verrrrrry cold in there......

I wish I could be in the front row to see Rock'n'Roll tomorrow night

[catdishy]

You get your wish...you are in the front row, but you can't see up past the edge of the stage, you get a crick in your neck, you keep popping out of your seat to see Rufus , people start whispering around you, then muttering , then throwing programs at you, the performance stops and all the cast stare at you as the police escort you from the theatre, shouting" Rufus, Rufus save me."

I wish I could catch up on my sleep before I get to NYC.

[GreenEyesToo]

You do - but you sleep so much that you miss your flight just before a national transport strike begins, so no planes, no trains, all the freeways are closed, and then the biggest weather system ever dumps snow across the continent.

I wish I didn't have a nuisance neighbour

[catdishy]

You get rid of your nuisance neighbour who is replaced by the silent neighbour whom you never hear or catch sight of , and you kind of miss the old neighbour...at least you knew when he was there.

I wish I could focus on one thing at a time.

[GreenEyesToo]

You try and you do - but while you're focusing on reading the play while on the subway to get to the Bernard B Jacobs Theatre, you're so focused you completely fail to realise that the person sitting next to you is Rufus, until you step off the train and he melts into the crowd. But then you catch him up, "accidentally" trip as you walk alongside, he catches you, and you remember to focus-focus-focus as you stare into those gorgeous green eyes.....

I wish I could fly to New York today.

[catdishy]

You fly to New York and stay in a fine hotel for 3 nights at great expense..Alas and alack!!Tickets to Rock'n'Roll are just not available. You stand outside the Jacobs theatre pleading, begging and crying but the hardnosed theatregoers won't be parted from their tickets. You become obsessed with seeing R'n"R, well, er Rufus and hang around the stagedoors but keep missing him.YOu flip out entirely. You can't get the money together for a return ticket and are stuck in New York!

I wish I lived in NYC.

[GreenEyesToo]

Alakazam! Now you do - but as soon as you arrive, there's an outbreak of some infectious disease or another, everyone is put under house arrest as that's the only way to quarantine the population, and it's so serious everyone is confined to their homes for the next ten years.

I wish I could be in a film with Rufus

[sevensisters]

Your wish comes true......but on the very first day of rehearsals you find yourself so nervous you forget all your lines and you're so tongue-tied in Rufus's presence that when your big love scene comes up you freeze and so the director yells, "You're fired!"

I wish I could meet Rufus and not be tongue-tied.

[catdishy]

You meet Rufus out of the blue, cold, and don't stop talking..he can't get a word in edgewise. He keeps trying to say something , but you can't hear over your own voice. Finally, he pushes you into a pile of garbage on the sidewalk as an wrecking ball misses you by inches. You have to be taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital. Unfortunately, Rufus had a show to put on.

I wish I would calm down.